.::-:The Den of the Last Angel:-::.

[2]

Sat, 08 Dec 2007 08:02:58 GMT

Today and Tomorrow

My mind;
Programmed
"Look to the future"

A new idea
"Live for today"
contradicting
constricting

Destroying what I thought I knew
Perhaps the only thing

Bleak psychology
A mind game
a trap
Unforeseen by anyone

Spontaneity
Today

Conservation
Tomorrow

Torn between both.

Which road will I take?

[1]

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 02:39:25 GMT

Regrets & Hate

Time is supposed to heal me
I'm still in to fight my pain
For a way out
From my own mistakes
But it's not so easy to forgive and forget

I want to say I'm over you
But I think you should know

I stay up at night and imagine you in my pain
I secretly hope you hurt as much as me
And as much as I did when it was over

I don't think about you as often as I bet you hope I do
Only when I see you does my heart flare up with

Anger
Nausea
Hate and
Regret

Regret for having you in my life

I'm above no one and if I'm the lowest of the low
if it gets me where I want
Then that's all I need

No... I don't regret it.

You took away my confidence
The strength to stand alone
But when you pushed me down the weaker path
The stronger I have grown

No, I don't forgive you
When you hurt me, you hurt yourself
A black-listed bastard waste-of-space

And if you think that it's settled and gone
This heart
This mind
And soul
They're not done.

And if I dwell on you
I find myself working
to spite you.
Make you realize what you've lost.
This love
This heart and mind and soul
Come at much too high a cost for you to buy

Don't waste your time
Don't hold me up
Don't waste my time

I can't forgive
I can't forget
What you did to me
From the day we met

A manipulation, a spider's web
You made me something I wasn't
But now, I'm only myself
And that will be all I need.

That was short-lived...

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 01:56:24 GMT

I'll start over again. -.-;

1

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 05:47:53 GMT

Her Thoughts

Bored with life
What's the point?
Am I looking in too deep?
I'm complicated.
Sure.

I don't wanna live if I don't have my knowledge.

I find that life needs reason.
Life needs rhyme.
Without both, I feel
you know...
Like nothing's in place.

I'm a hypocrite.
Looking for spontaneous and organized in the same life
Looking to the ugliness that is humanity and beauty in the same world.
Trying to have jagged edges and perfect frills

Am I just indecisive?
Or is that just the depth of how people think?

I'll give it another shot

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 05:42:24 GMT

*brushes away cobwebs*

I'm starting my poetry thing again.

I get the feeling I need this a lot more than I think I do and if you've ever seen my backpack, losing a notebook with poetry in it is like breathing. Pretty damn easy.

So I'll start tonight with a new poem of spectacular preportions!!! Or whatever pops into my head first!

The eternal wait

Fri, 29 Jun 2007 02:02:22 GMT

*sigh*

Still at camp. Uber-bored.

Everone else is busy playing JKA (which I just now realized is REALLY amusing to watch), so I'm basically alone in this sad, cold, dank computer room.

Well, not really.

It's kind of warm, everyone's happy, and it's really bright due to flourescent lighting.

If there are any typos, I'll correct them later when I'm not in a public area.

Okay, so my love life is almost as active as a hibernating animal.

If I don't get a BF by sumemr's end, then I decided to give up dating until I'm 16. Well, I've already gotten one since I started the pact, but I decided recently to make it more specific and say that the relationship must last a minimum of 2 weeks.

All of the guys here are ... well, they have at least some redeeming quality (some more than most) and they're almost ALL taken, ESPECIALLY all the one's I've been targeting as a potentiial "bf".

It's really depressing two because they're all so nice and they all have such great senses of humor.

basically, I'll just come out, be a bitch and say that it's not fair to me. 8 cute guys. One girl. No single guys.

What kind of life is this?

Did I really deserve this sort of thing and if so,, I'll do almost anything to repent. Except maybe give up my sarcasm or most of my material objects.

I'd even start TRYING to be nice to people I utterly despise.

But now, I'm starting to think that I shouldn't bother trying to 'repent' and change myself so that pther people will like me. But it just doesn't seem like there are any guys who want someone like me.

If I had a religious bone in my body, I'd go run off and become a nun so then I wouldn't have to worry about this shit./ I could just run around in my black clothes and pray my life away.

But that's really not the life for me.

I want to live as I am and be happy with myself as a normal person. Well, maybe not so normal. ;D

But if I go my whole life and take the role of the 'cute younger sister' of every guy, I may as well just kill myself.

It's not like I need a man in my life to keep moving forward, but I'm basically a failure at everything else and maybe if I could succeed at this ONE thing, I wouldn't feel so awful about myself or anything I do.

I feel depressed now and I should probably go change and brush my teeth. Oyasumi.

I officially give up.

Wed, 27 Jun 2007 15:14:18 GMT

WEll, kind of. I'll continue the challenge, just on regular paper. During the summer, I usually FORGET to get online and update, which is what throws me off the most.

Regardless... I'm having a blast at camp.

I'm totally hyper cuz...

A. I just had breakfast like... 15 minutes ago. probably less.
B. I'm surrounded by cute guys. Okay, some of them are cute. the others are... homely but they're all really smart, cool, funny and great people.

Which reminds me why I'm depressed.

Most of them have gfs. TToTT

Whyyy?!

I feel sad now. Haha.

All the good guys are taken. Wah. Oh well... Long-distance relationships are unhealthy. -.-;

Though I wouldn't mind one. ;D

Well, I officially give up chasing these guys. They're great friends, so I'll just keep it at that before I start crying again.

(yes, I cried.)

I'm so lame~ Yay!

Sleepy (4)

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 06:48:11 GMT

Getting 3-4 hours a night
without even slightly
Changing the way my day is conducted

No school, no pressure
No alarms going off or work to do
Like an endless weekend
I'll do what I want
Whether it be everything possible
Nothing at all
Or some spectrum of grays inbetween

Spend the day in front of the TV
Chores are done
Nothing to do
Drawing a new manga series
Watching Law and Order
Special Victims
Criminal Intent
The plain original
Whatever

As long as at least one person 'dies'
I'm content.

As long as it keeps me amused
Keeps my brain exersized with constant plot twists
'rapes'
'deaths'
'extortions'

Doesn't matter
Even if I'm only half-awake
This is okay by me

Flourish (3)

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 20:57:35 GMT

Scratching of pencil on paper
With the power to make something beautiful appear in its wake
As the images flourish on a sheet of paper
A vivid ideal begins to turn over in my mind

The depth of pouring one's soul to a page
And the shallowness of the billionths of an inch the thickness of it was

Ordinary lines merge and become the extraordinary
Becoming what they will
And becoming something (even if unintentional)

The simple elegance that bleeds from a drawing
Of only paper
And only pencil

becomes perfection in your eyes

Badminton (2)

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 03:06:21 GMT

Sweat and
Chasing
Hit and
Run

Quick but
Coordinated

The shuttlecock soaring
Cutting through the air
Across the net within
Enemy reach

It flies again
towards me this time

I move
Like a cat
clever and strong
Lunging at it
My prey
With the intention of sending it back

The racket swishes through
Summer air
The birdie steals its movement
And flies away again

End of the Year (1)

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 00:14:06 GMT

Today's Poem...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The hollow clatter of an empty locker's door
The empty hallways with no resounding footsteps
The bland classrooms without decorations or books

The warmth of the social world
As absent from the halls as a sick child at home

No rustling of papers
Complaints about due dates
slamming of locker doors
Or "No running in the halls!"

No more recycled fries [1] that taste like wet cardboard
No more gossip that is stocked in more quantity than library books
No more secrets whispered from ear to ear between classes
No more.

The disappearance of life seems to vanish at the source
'Real' life begins in the classroom
Where knowledge is abundant
As is drama and suffering

The end of the year
Like a sad song through your headphones
The summer sunlight evaporates your salty tears
and your memories

Both good and bad

Are left behind in an empty locker
~~~~~~~~~~~

[1] At our school, whatever fries aren't eaten on Tuesday are reheated and served on Thursday. Nasty, huh? (they aren't any good to begin with.)

STARTING OVER. (TToTT)

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 00:03:40 GMT

Ahh!

I missed three days!

This means that I have to start my "Poem a day" challenge over, as I have been inconsistent with my writing!

Grr... Oh well.

I'll have to start over as many times as it takes to go for 365 days straight, so we'll just have to see what new developments occur.

On another note, my house smells awful.

The fire alarm went off and some dough from the bread I made last night is burning in the bottom of the oven at 425 degrees.

Fantastic.

Regardless, I have to draw Bolshock Dragon from Duel Masters (total rip-off of Yu-Gi-Oh) for this kid with Autism because I felt sorry for him.
Not only that but I have to go to a community picnic thing at my school for my hall. How stupid/lame.

At least one of my best friends is going and there will be a live band. I hope they don't suck. ^^;

Overtalkative

Sat, 09 Jun 2007 04:59:44 GMT

Poem for today. About my friend.
~~~~~~~~

Speaking so loud
So fast without breathing
Not sure how you do it
Somehow, I'm jealous

That you're so unable
To keep your mouth shut
And that you're able
to disturb whatever unfortunate citizens
are standing in a one-block radius

A thousand eyes on only us
As your words pierce the cool collected mumbles of the town
There is no silence as long as your presence exists
How creepy that I've written a poem like this.
~~~~~~~~~~~

I couldn't think of anything else. Because I was bored and my friend who I almost never see was here to visit. so I decided to write this.

Sayonara

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 06:26:12 GMT

It's late and I'm tired and I need to go to bed. Here's a haiku. This does count.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Farewell to you and
Hello to all my new woes
Welcome to real life.

The End

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 05:34:38 GMT

Written for the end of the year. I still don't want to give my speech in class. *cries*

~~~~~~~~~~~

When the end is coming
Something beautiful is beginning
The rose is dying and in its place
A more beautiful blossom than before unfurls its petals

As you say goodbye for the final time
You know that nothing's really going to end
The beginning of a new story's just around the corner
With just a simple flip of the pages,
A world imbued in words awaits

A wonderful future is just up ahead
Even if it's blurring in your vision
if you just walk forward
Your scenery clears and focuses
and the further up ahead becomes sharpens

The sun is filling the cyan sky
Soft, air-puffed clouds that drift so free on the open breeze
Even after a stabbing wound of 'farewell' impaling your heart
The day's warmth begins to dry your tears
The wind begins to pick up the brittle fragments of dusty sorrow from the bottom of your heart
To carry them far away from you

So far away is your past
But some parts are so clear, they become your present
they become who you are
They appear as your memories
And shape who the person you aspire to become

A ticking clock
A beating heart
A scale from one to ten
How do you measure your emotions
if you don't even know what you're feeling?

Is the ending to your story
Bitter-sweet and forlorn?
Beautifully tragic?
Cheery and humorous?
A mix of the above?

What kind of impression will you leave
as your footsteps lead away from where you start?

Love Ballad

Wed, 06 Jun 2007 05:21:55 GMT

To dull the razor sharp edges of my undying rage, I decided to write a love ballad-type thing. I really have been watching too much Nana. Even after I've broken up with my boyfriend who wasn't even that close to me, I'm in a rather romantic mood. Poor Hachiko is pregnant now. Well, she has been for about 3 episodes, so...

So much, in fact, I've forgotten that I have a 3-5 minute speech due tomorrow that I haven't even started writing.

This is basically stress relief.
~~~~~~~~~~~

Even if I whisper "I love you" without breathing
It's only a fragment of what I mean to say.
A song without words
That brings tears to our eyes

Even if it falters,
The message is clear
I want to sing this song for you
Even though it has no words

Even if I sing it a thousand times
It will never cover the extent of my heart
Or the emotions that fill it
Let me sing this song, just once for you

Just listen for a few silent moments
While I serenade this sorrowful love
Whose ending is clear to my eyes in the distance

The road that we once walked upon together
Side by side
Lined with cherry blossom petals
freshly fallen at your toes
fade to black and the road dissipates into two
One going right
and the other left

It's then when we will say goodbye
Bitter farewells
Sweet kisses

The summer's gone
The leaves are dying
The trees are wilting
Snow begins to fall

Even if I wait a thousand seasons
I will never feel you again

The taste of your lips
The graze of your eyes
The warmth of your touch
or the sweetness of your words

And even if I keep the feeling fresh in my mind
The feeling will fade from my body
As will life shall fade from ours.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow. How depressing.

Like... If I were ever to learn japanese, I could totally become an Enka songwriter.

This is a total enka song.

How to lose a guy in 5 days

Wed, 06 Jun 2007 04:03:19 GMT

Today's poem

Btw, I have NEVER watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 days, so I have NO idea what I'm saying.
~~~~~~

How to lose a guy in 5 days
A tutorial by Saigo_Tenshi

Step one:

Pour your heart and soul into a relationship that will never go
Further than if you tried to throw a 6 ton boulder.

Step two:

Believe in the unreal. Breathe it in and it becomes your reality
Or so I believed.
but such was simple deceit.

Step three:

Throw away your pride
like a tattered rag doll
Like you're ready to 'grow up'
As if you know what 'grow up' means

Step four:

Ignore your friends' advice
Forget their wisest words
And enter a world
Where solitude and ecstasy merge
beneath a blanket of lies

Step five:

Let him control you
Use you and
Dominate you
until his ex comes back

That is how to lose a guy in five days.

Screw 'How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days'. I know how to lose one in FIVE. HAHAHA!!!!

Wed, 06 Jun 2007 00:19:05 GMT

Haha. My second relationship, down the drain in less than five days. Aren't I sad?

LOL.

I probably should be upset and crying, but somehow, I'm not all that depressed about it.

But I guess if I'm this levelheaded about it, it wasn't a good fit, right?

Anyway, I was kind of expecting after I heard that he was using me to make his ex jealous.

I'm okay with it, but if I see them together, I'll rip off that ugly bleach blonde hair out of her scalp in clumps and cram them down his throat.

I'm not going to let someone use me without painfully severe punishment.

I seriously need to stop listening to Kelly Clarkson.

"Never Again" is permanently burned into my brain in the most painful aspect. It always has to relate to me right after I have some sort of relationship crash... It's really depressing.

On a lighter note, I feel like taking a bath with rose petals, like Nana Ep. 22 (I think). Too bad I don't have a Ren, Nobu, Shin or Yasu on hand. That'd make it a bit better. Lol. *depressed*

-.-'l| <-- I made this one up. I think it's original, ne? Because I haven't seen it anywhere else. It's cute. It has the little dread lines!

I need to get more sleep, so I think I might take a nap soon, even though I have to have the last four stanzas of the Raven memorized by tomorrow.

Meh...

Tue, 05 Jun 2007 07:30:03 GMT

My heart's beating so fast. I almost didn't make my poem deadline. I was off by ONE minute. Wow

Anyway, today, I feel like my self-esteem has fallen to the bottom of a deep crevasse.

I look in the mirror and I see someone that no one would ever want to be with, romance-wise or anything similar.

I'm not sure how I manage to be so disgusting, but I'm making a resolution.

I've been reading Beauty Pop recently and I've been thinking about how I'm like that one girl, Ayumi or whatever in the bonus story in book 3.

I don't have anyone specific I want to be beautiful for (Even though I should do it for my boyfriend...), but I want to give myself a fighting chance when it comes to guys. I feel so stupid writing this, but it's completely true.

I'm so unnattractive, it even hurts ME to look in a mirror.

Speaking of manga characters I relate to, I also quite relate to Sunako Nakahara of The Wallflower or Perfect Girl Evolution.

I'm beginning to wonder if I should just go back into the darkness... Just like her...

I am probably the most hopeless cause to exist. Sunako's a billion times more beautiful than me. Not even the cissors Project could make me beautiful.Well, maybe. But they don't exist so...

Also lately, I think I want to cut my hair. The problem is, the fact that I need it for cosplay later, so if I cut it now, it probably won't grow out come Kumoricon.

Like, my hair is probably my best feature and I'm just kind of sick of its length and the problem of trying to take care of it all the time.

Not only that but I have more split ends than a dying, malnourished kid in Africa (Not to make any political drabble).

I just feel really depressed with low self-esteem. The only time I can really look in the mirror and feel beautiful is right after I exersize, but maybe it's because I'm too fatigued to look in the mirror properly?

I dunno. I wish I looked more like... Utada-sama or Nana Kitade. they're both so pretty! Oh, and maybe Mika Nakashima and Yuna Ito, but not Ayumi Hamasaki. She's a slut.

But I guess it's all airbrushed, right? And that I'm beautiful naturally?

I'm not sure. But I do kind of look like Utada-sama on the cover of Ultra Blue ^^; Maybe that's just my opinion.

List of things I want to change and can change

Skin color. I want to be paler, so I'll stay inside more often and maybe use some of that weird cream that removes skin pigment? (It sounds kind of unhealthy...)
Eye color. I could wear contacts, but I'm not sure what color eyes I'd want. I'd probably end up with theatrical contacts because I've got typical asian eyes that are basically black, so normal contacts wouldn't work so well.
Waist size. I should exersize more. I already have a 26" waist, but I'm aiming for at LEAST 25.5" if I get any thinner than that, then I'll be ecstatic.
Thigh thickness. I was really scared. I measured the widest part of my thighs and I found out they're only like... 4" short of being my waist size!!!! AHHH! I need to exersize more! *Watches Sailor Moon episodes 3-6*
Body hair ratio. My arms are sooo disgustingly hairy. And I have DARK hair, so the only way to hide it is long sleeves. *cries* I don't know whether to shave it off or take a few years to pluck it, but it's so ugly!!!!
Wardrobe. I'm not going to change my all-black wardrobe I wear constantly, but I might want to go DIY punk or I've been considering goth/punk/wa-loli. I'm not sure which one though. Ero-loli? (j/k. me in revealing outfits = eye-bleedage)
Butt size. Eww! Even if I tense the muscles, it still manages to jiggle! But hey, at least it's more healthy looking that Beyonce or Shakira *just watched Beautiful Liar on MTV* When they jiggle, it's really creepy. *goes to exersize*

Things I wouldn't change about myself (for a self-confidence boost)
My hair. It's long, silky, black and shiny.
My foot size. Sure, I only wear a size 5 womens, but it's a memorable feature and everyone has something to say about them.
My chest. There's something comforting about having a 34" chest that makes me feel better. Not like I show it off constantly. I usually hide it under a really baggy sweatshirt, really. But it's kind of like... a baby blanket that you keep for comfort that you're too embarassed to drag around in public. (lol. What a weird simile)
My calves. They're really nice and to proportion and the easiest part of my leg to shave. If only everything ABOVE the knee was so smooth and pretty. -.-;
My personality. Of course, I'm mean, sarcastic, bitchy and cynic with a blunt and pessimistic sense of humor, but acting that way has gotten me some really close friends and some great enemies and rivals who constantly inspire me to become better than they are! Yosh! I'll kill them! *The power of youth compels me*
My sense of fashion. Seriously. I think one of my best features is my modesty. Now that it's hot outside, the girls at school are starting to dress all slutty and it's really gross. Especially since some of them can't pull it off. It's also kind of sad that they think they NEED to show that much skin for attention.
My self-confidence in things other than my body. I know that every day, I can walk into class and pass every test thrown at me. I know that every day, I can piss off every prep with a few sentences.
My voice. Some people think I sound annoying when I talk (And I do kind of), but I think I sound good when I sing. I'm not saying American Idol good, but good for someone born with no real latent abilites.
My ability to draw. I could be better, but I mean, I'm still pretty good.

That's really it. Now that I feel a bit better, there's nothing that can stop me.

Lol. I love Shin-chan. *Watching it now*

A Desire To Beauty

Tue, 05 Jun 2007 06:59:22 GMT

Another poem. Whee~! This one's really weird.

I never thought I'd write something like this. I feel so vain, talking about myself like this.
-------------

The skinny forms of female classmates fill the room
I'm not fat
But I could be thinner

I feel a mutual envy for their natural slender bodies
But a slight pride at my own physical... assets
even so, they're all taller than me, thinner than me
And to say the least better people; Beautiful inside and out

Not as cynic
cold-hearted
cruel and hateful

Nowhere near as dark
scathing
deceitful and bleak

Like a ghost
Transparent among the pretty faces
Can you see me behind
this facade of lies?

Promise me you'll try to sift me from beneath the pretty things
And I will continue to hold this close forever.

A Journey Filled With Laughter

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 06:48:32 GMT

My poem for today!
~~~~~~~

A smile dissolving a broken heart
Sunlight in scattered patterns through leaves
Laughter ringing throughout our souls
Mending the fragments if only for a moment

The tears have evaporated
Nothing but a salty residue to be blown away by the breeze
The pain has drifted into a world of endless joy
Like the winter melting into spring

The flowers begin to bloom
My heart begins to race
A beautiful day is calling me ahead
so I keep moving forward
Regardless of the future waiting

Like a wind up toy
I keep on going
Until I lose momentum and come to a crashing stop
But my journey is one filled with bitter and tender emotions
and the next day's promised events keep me moving
Automatic

Keep walking through
A Journey of my life
Filled with laughter, Joy
Pain and strife
Keep it going

Before the road comes to a close in the distance

How? Why? What?

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 11:41:41 GMT

Wow.

I just cried for two hours over the guy I was so madly in love with less than 8 hours ago.

I heard that he's using me to make his ex jealous.

I'm not even sure if it's true but I was just so angry and upset at him because knowing him as a close friend, I wouldn't be surprised if he did that to me.

I feel so fucking stupid. I just... Like... I got really depressed and considered dying.

But he's so not worth it.

As said in Kamikaze girls, become twice as strong as the tears you've shed. And I will

The best part is, I have the coolest friends. Colton and Elijah. We're gonna go hang out to get over our sorrows and broken hearts. Like a girls' day out, except I'm the only girl there! It's so sweet! I can't wait.

I'm actually AFRAID of drugsI

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 06:43:11 GMT

This actually happened.
``````````````````````````````````
Today, I went to hang out with my boyfriend (Sage) and some friends (Cassidy, Troy, Asaya and Hanah)

So we went and hung out on the college campus for awhile, then just sat on the grass by the tennis courts (still on campus).

We sat and talked for awhile, just hanging out and then we came upon the subject of drugs. (cassidy had gone home. She doesn't play a large part in this)

I, for one, before this, had never even SEEN real drugs. Only on crime shows, like Law and Order and stuff.

Sage and Troy started talking about the pictures Sage took of Troy when he was high. He showed them to us on his camera phone and we all had a good laugh, right? His face looked like _- P *turn head sideways to the left*

Then Asaya started talking about how her mom wanted her to get high with her the other day and I wasn't surprised. (I had NO idea asaya, hanah or troy was on drugs. Seriously) Asaya's mom's drug problem I'd heard about.

And then, Asaya took out an altoid tin and took out a bag of tobacco, a really tiny joint and these little balls of some herb (I think it was a drug) and gave like... 6 to Troy.

Then Troy said he was out of lighters and they wanted to go get a free one.

By then, I was just totally mortified. These people all seemed SO completely normal and yet still, they were getting high constantly. These really cool, kind and carefree people were drug addicts!

I was freaked out beyond reason. I was really ready to start crying out of fear, or pity or something.

Thankfully, my boyfriend's really sweet.

He noticed by then that I was feeling really uncomfortable, then asked me if I wanted to leave! *<3<3<3* *crowd goes 'awwww'*

Then, we just walked over to my house to just watch a movie and hang out. How sweet! I'm so lucky!

On the way though, I pretty much almost cried. My chest felt all tight, my eyes were beginning to water and my head ached. It was really traumatizing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Again, I'm so lucky to have such a sweet boyfriend. He's going to ask them to keep the drugs AWAY from me and that made me feel a bit better.

I didn't feel like... Left out or anything, but I was just scared.

The last thing I EVER want to be is a low-grade underachiever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What I'm also scared of is calling the police or like... a help line. Or telling someone. I want to help these people and get them into some sort of rehab so they don't screw up their lives.
I've played the scenario over in my head a thousand times already and it always ended so that everyone hated me.

Sparks

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 07:51:10 GMT

Oh~ I'm so happy. ^-^
It's that new boyfriend high. I'm really ecstatic. (He's my second one. And I haven't kissed anyone yet. isn't that sad?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Through the pages of my secret notebook
I have wishes
Thousands upon thousands just waiting to happen
Thousands and millions of possibilities
But the one that turns up most
among these thousands of thousands
of hopes and dreams
was for Love's redemption to take me away from my loneliness

So patiently I waited for the moment to arrive
clad in roses, chocolates, secret notes
And little by little, the hopes and dreams were shed away
Leaving behind a vow that if Love could not find me by summer's end
I would bide and await my heart to mend
Until the day when 16 was my age
And guys were slightly more mature

So patiently I stayed, hoping my story would not end there
And I wouldn't have to worry about my clothes, my face and hair
until the time when my dreams and prayers were answered
with a phone call from a friend
And 6 magic little words
'Will you go out with me?'
That left me
Dazed
Confused
Weirded out (Not in a good way)

So I asked for advice
from friends and peers and chatrooms
And an answer became clear
They said to take a chance
So I did
And I said yes

A moment of magic
And he calls me once again
I call him back and ask him
If he wants to hang again

I wait downtown at the designated spot
Hoping he remembered
The address
the date
the time

Later, we're at home together
With one of my old friends
His arm's around me
Secure and warm
And my heart beats faster
And I think I'm feeling sparks

This warmth inside me growing
A blossoming maiden finding her place
The rose of her maturity spreading it's blood-hued petals

Heartbeat

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 07:22:45 GMT

Here's my poem! ~ <3
~~~~~~~~~

Pulses in my chest
a convulsion of emotion
overflowing
spilling over the shallow rim of my heart

Like tears escaping from welling eyes
Or raindrops dripping from silvery skies
Like roses whose petals are drenched with dew
Or the heat in my heart, screaming for you

Beautiful colors swirl on the insides of my eyelids
As I slide through my day
Happy
Angry
Sad
Confused
A billion hues
Swirling through my brain

Like a shaken up pepsi, about to explode
Drifting on the edge of emotion
Let's go!

I wanna kickstart my day with a song I wrote on my own
with guitar, the drums, the bass in the sunrise
These words belong me myself
captured on a fragment of paper

They pulsate to the rhythm of my heart
Like a whimsical melody of the wind
Coursing through tree leaves and bottles
And a whisper of angelic light as it pours through the darkness.